If you’re still carrying the huge financial burden of a student loan, chances are you’re trying to decide between living in a home with running electricity and lights or something more substantial than a jar of lukewarm mayonnaise in the fridge.

Now there is a chance rates could get even higher. In other words, we’re all screwed. How can you tell rates are spiraling out of control? Be on the lookout for some of these signs.

1. A large guy in a shark skin suit shows up at your door and says, “That’s a really nice diploma you got there. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it.”

2. You tell your lender that you’re not able to make a payment this month and they suddenly notice that you’re an organ donor.

3. Your lender offers you the chance to take out a loan to pay off the interest on your loan.

4. Mitt Romney sold one of his houses to cover his student loan payment.

5. Your lender says you could afford to lose a few pounds.

6. You’re having trouble making your payments and you got your college degree from a drive-thru college in Las Vegas.

7. You consider the change in your couch to be part of your savings.

8. In lieu of payment, your lender is willing to shave a couple of dollars off your monthly interest payment by siphoning off a pint a blood.

9. Until you make a payment, the bank has put a hold on your checking account, your debit card and your heartbeat.

10. You’re thinking of selling your body and not in the “fun way.”

11. The Cash-4-Gold people keep calling you and asking for their money back because they’ve got student loans to pay too.

12. You’re spending less on gas.