Everyone knows that the stars at night shine big and bright (clap clap clap clap) deep in the heart of Texas, but did you know there are a few Texas laws that no one would ever classify as “bright”? Now, I’m not a Texas native, but I’ve embraced the Lone Star State as my new home with enthusiasm. That being said, I’m glad I didn’t see these laws before I decided to move to the state. Check out my list of the top 7 most ridiculous Texas laws, as listed by www.dumblaws.com.

  • 1

    It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

    Well this seems a little restrictive. Although, I’m sure my thighs will be supremely toned after sitting down and getting up every fourth sip. You know what? You can have this one, Texas. Bring me a six pack and I’ll sip my way to better legs. Sip, Sip, Sip, Squat. Sip, Sip, Sip, Squat. It’s like redneck aerobics.

  • 2

    Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six "female sex toys".

    Well, that would certainly kill any hopes of bringing the porn industry to Dallas. I would like to personally thank the lawmaker who brought this important topic to the attention of Texans. Never again will another headstone need to be carved with “Death by Vibrator”.

  • 3

    It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

    It is NOT, however, illegal for a buffalo to shoot you from a second story window. Life is not fair.

    Flickr- blieusong
  • 4

    A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

    Can I get that in email form so I can read it on the computer that you’re about to steal? Thanks so much.

    Flickr-West Midlands Police
  • 5

    Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.

    As of 2010, the Lamar University Cardinals have been running up and down the gridiron. I guess they didn’t get the memo.

  • 6

    It is illegal to sell one’s eye.

    I see your point.

  • 7

    No person shall inhale fumes from model glue.

    I need a clarification on this. Is it JUST model glue? Because I’m got a pretty strong addiction to Elmer’s paste and I’m not sure I’ll be able to shake the habit.

    Flickr-me and the sysop