Emerald Catron

Basically once Labor Day has passed, we spend our time gearing up for Halloween, which means apple cider, carving pumpkins, and loads and loads of terrible scary movies. The only problem is that there are bad scary movies and then there are *bad* scary movies, and the only way to tell the difference between the two usually involves sacrificing 40 minutes or so of your life.

If your Halloween costume isn't coming along exactly the way you planned, don't feel bad -- at least you aren't any of these horrible Halloween fails.

The problem with having your sousaphone players march backwards is that if one goes down, they all go down. A fact clearly evidenced by this video of seven marching band players piling one on top of the other during a halftime show.

Congress couldn't get it together enough to agree on something, and now foreign tourists are going to miss their one chance to see the Statue of Liberty. The government has shut down (mostly)!

If you're looking for a catalyst to provide you with a nice, end-of-workweek tear-fest, look no further than this video of a fireman rescuing a kitten. Seriously. You will cry. If you don't cry, please share your stony ways with us, because we embarrassed ourselves in the office watching this video...

When BatDad's not fighting crime, he drives a Honda Odyssey. And yells at his kids for hiding under rugs...and tells his wife to wash his pajamas...and is genuinely hilarious.

One time two years ago, some skeezebag stole our phone right out of our purse. For three months we were phone-less. So, we feel fairly well qualified to testify that this video, about what it's like to be surrounded by friends with smartphones when you don't have one, is pretty much spot on.

You think you know your pet, but do you *know* your pet? Would you, for example, say your guinea pig is a Betty or a Veronica? What's your iguana's opinion on repealing the Glass-Steagall Act? Most importantly, DO YOU EVEN KNOW YOUR FERRET'S MYERS-BRIGGS PERSONALITY TYPE????!! Is your pet ... an INTROVERT?

Wow, people are upset that Ben Affleck is going to be the next Batman. Like, really upset. It's almost like this somehow simultaneously affects them personally (it doesn't), and they have nothing else in their lives to worry about (we're jealous). They may be upset about it, but at least some folks have a sense of humor about it. Here are some choice tweets on the subject.

Nothing will make you appreciate the power of nature quite like watching a dozen cypress trees being sucked underwater in the blink of an eye by a sinkhole.