“Doing the Dew” Is Complicated…A Definitive Guide to the Madness
Recently, Mountain Dew, the PepsiCo Soda brand, announced that they would be bringing back Mountain Dew Typhoon flavor. This flavor, first dubbed "Flavor #509" was originally released in 2008, then was introduced again in 2011, as a runner-up in the second "Dew-mocracy II" promotion. It lost out to the flavor "White Out" 44% to 40%
You will have to be a dedicated "Dew Head" to get this new flavor. Yes, that is a name I came up with. In any event, the only way to get this flavor is to go to the Dew Store and only Dew HQ members will be able to purchase it. What? Dew HQ?! This all sounds way too complicated to me. So, I dug a little deeper. What I found was a "Dewaucracy" that almost makes the I.R.S look simpleminded.
In fact, if you go to Wikipedia and look up the "List of Mountain Dew flavors and varieties" you will find a whole fully stocked page. There are flavors marked "Current", "Exclusives", Kickstart", "Game Fuel" (formerly "Amp Game Fuel"), "Mountain Dew Energy" (formerly "Mountain Dew Rise"), "Hard Mountain Dew", "Frozen beverages", "International variations" and tons listed by Wikipedia as "Discontinued" which could basically rear their heads at any time in the future.
With all that being said, what are the best Dew Flavors of all time. Of course, there are as many opinions as there are people who have tried Mountain Dew in all its forms. So, we did some consensus research and here are the flavors that are most highly rated. Let us also preface this with flavors that are routinely disliked first. The most soundly rated poorly of the Dew Flavors include:
THE BAD ONES:
Diet Dew: The word "disaster" is frequently used. Although, I am not a diet soft drink fan and I have to admit, of all the diet soft drinks, this is the only one I'll drink. Oh wait, Diet Orange Faygo or Black Cherry, are also good.
Mountain Dew Sweet Lightning: This Dew was created for KFC. It totally misses the mark. My grandpa always used to say: "never trust a drink that's the same color going in as coming out. They even surveyed all the Colonel Sanders-es and nine out of ten say it really misses the mark. Somewhere in Kentucky the Real Colonel Sanders is spinning in his grave.
Mountain Dew Ice: Just another in the disastrous line of "clear" sodas like Crystal Pepsi and Tab Clear that would be better off forgotten.
Mountain Dew White Out: See Above. It actually tastes a lot like Sprite. How DARE they?
Diet Mountain Dew Code Red: It's better than regular Mountain Dew Diet. Wow, that's not a very good testimonial. Talk about aftertaste. Even if you eat horseradish sauce or take the cinnamon challenge, (not recommended for health reasons) you will still be tasting this aftertaste in your nightmares.
THE GOOD ONES
Now let's run down those Mountain Dew Flavors that get the best rankings in general taste tests. This is not scientific research. It is based on internet opinions and the opinions of this writer. Hey, if you don't like it hit the comments or write your own Mountain Dew Story.
Mountain Dew Black: The original grape flavored version of this drink came out as a Halloween promotion back in 2004 and the color was kinda off black. If they would have left this flavor alone, it would be my favorite Dew flavor but noooooooo. It's now a dark berry flavor with a smidgeon of citrus. Still ok, but just ok.
Mountain Dew Baja Blast Zero Sugar: This is by far the best "diet" version of Mountain Dew. It is sometimes sold in stores, but most of the time it is sold at Taco Bell exclusively, so that you feel a little less guilty about eating five steak burrito supremes. Ok I've never eaten five at one sitting, but maybe four.
Mountain Dew: Original Mountain Dew is on the list of the best flavors. It would not be high on most people's list, but it's there. It DOES have higher caffeine levels than most sodas with 54 milligrams of caffeine per serving. Way more than Coke at 34, Dr. Pepper with 41 and Pepsi with 39.
Black Cherry Mountain Dew Kickstart: It's not bad. It is made with real fruit juice. You can taste it from the first sip. It has electrolytes too, so it is a favorite at frathouses the morning after a big kegger. There are some people who swear they have an addiction. It is clearly the best flavored of the Mountain Dew Kickstart flavors.
Mountain Dew Code Red: If you long for "cherry" then you will love this soda. The problem is after a few of these, you might be a little less a fan of cherry. The "rush of cherry" flavor is a bit overwhelming. As dry as it is in West Texas, you need refreshment, not overpowering flavor. That's why the only sane way to drink this flavor is cold, very cold. In fact, the convenience store might not be able to deliver it cold enough.
Mountain Dew Voltage: So it's blue. Is that the most appetizing color for refreshment? We'll leave that discussion for a later time. If the color throws you off, drink some anyway. It is one of my favorite Dew flavors. Because it is called "Voltage" you will not be disappointed if you think it must have more caffeine. It does have 55 milligrams. It's only slightly more, but you will notice a kick. You are more apt to notice the raspberry, citrus and ginseng flavoring. Too bad it doesn't have real ginseng in it. That would make this product "cosmic" or so think many Far East Cultures.
Mountain Dew Baja Blast: Maybe this is the best Mountain Dew and maybe it's just because you can only get it at Taco Bell and that whole "think outside the bun" thing is a really positive experience for so many of us. The tropical flavor and lime mixes great with my five Steak Burrito Supremes. Oh, did I make that mistake again? Three. I only eat three at a time. Whenever, this flavor comes to stores I stock up. I'm glad storage sheds rentals in San Angelo are reasonably priced.
Mountain Dew Throwback: This is by far the best Mountain Dew flavor ever. This Mountain Dew flavor harkens back to an earlier time before high fructose corn syrup. It is made with real sugar. Just like Mexican Coca Cola. This is the ultimate Dew. It has caffeine, but with the sugar you don't need it as much. Just make sure you don't give too much of this to your kids
Feel free to argue about any of my selections. I am just one humble writer/radio influencer/ person with an obvious Taco Bell Steak Burrito Supreme addiction and a fever for the flavor of Mountain Dew. May all your thirsts be quenched and remember...Do the Dew!